Monday, May 16, 2011

Fright Night at the Mall

You could call it a premonition. Whatever it was, I had always known that to get my ears pierced would be courting disaster. Maybe that’s why I kept putting it off all those years. Now I was almost 50, and hovering on the brink of a decision. It seemed everyone was always commenting on my ‘petite’ ears, and how pleased I would be with them if I got them pierced.

In the beginning, it was the fear of pain that held me back. I’d seen those poor little screaming kids at the mall, caught in a stranglehold by their mothers and a white-jacketed ‘surgeon.’

But now it was my pride, too. The fear of someone seeing me getting it done – at my age.

“What! You’re 50, and having your ears pierced for the first time? Where have you been – on another planet or something?”

No, it had to be done secretly, or not at all.

So, the decision was made. I carefully planned my strategy. What nights were the malls the most deserted? I scouted them all, during the day, evenings, weekends, and public holidays, and came up with the perfect time. Between 7:30pm and 9:30pm on October 31st – Halloween! All the kids would be out trick or treating, and the parents would either be with them, or at home shelling out the goodies.

So, next Halloween night, before the first little ghosties and ghoulies hit the streets, I skulked out of my darkened front door, feeling not too guilty about the sign tacked on it: Sorry, all shelled-out. It was for a good cause. I’d be sure to shell-out double next year.

As I suspected, the mall was deserted. The store clerks, dressed in costumes for the occasion, stood wearily at their posts, filing nails, chatting or reading a book, just counting the minutes until closing time.

I’d chosen my ‘operating room’ carefully; a little boutique set back from the mall’s main thoroughfare, sporting the sign, Ear-piercing. Only $12.00. Hygienic, safe and speedy! I guess it was too much to expect pain-free as well. Boldly I entered and approached the pseudo Godzilla behind the counter.

“I’d like to have my ears pierced, please,” said I, trying to act nonchalantly.

“You?” said Godzilla, rising on its haunches to glance through glassy eyes at my now reddened ears. “You’ve never had it done before?”

I rather testily explained that, yes, it was my first time – and could we please get on with it?

Lumbering off towards the back of the store, Godzilla eventually returned with the one who was to perform the operation. For a split second I panicked and almost ran, but I forced myself to stand my ground. It was now or never.

A black-caped Dracula, with very effective dental work and shiny red blood streaming down her chin, rested her coal-blackened eyes on my ears, and then leered in my face.

“Honest?” You’ve never had them done before? Where’ve you been, anyways?”

I chose to ignore the question and insisted on being seated, please, at the ear-piercing counter.

The tools of the trade were duly sterilized and readied for the task, albeit precariously, by hands sporting curled, glossy, three-inch long, scarlet nails – which did nothing to instill confidence in me. The dastardly deed was about to be completed.

As Dracula leaned over my right ear with the ‘gun,’ a high pitched yell shattered my eardrum.

“Oh, my gawd,” she cried, “You don’t have any earlobes. How’m I supposed to get holes in those ears? Hey, Nancy, she yelled to Godzilla, “Come and see this. You won’t believe it!”

Now ape and monster were on either side of me, gaping at and fingering my petite but lobeless ears.

Says Godzilla, “I never saw anything like this! Hey, Jackie, come and see!”

From the shoe store across the way came a witch, with black robe flying, holding on to her conical hat, to peer wickedly at the malformed projection on the side of my head.

In a matter of moments, an entourage of masked bandits, robots, demons and elves, now alert and dancing around me, were fighting for their turn to inspect my ears, each making appropriate clucking noises or excitable comments about my weirdness.

So much for anonymity. I should have just invited my whole neighbourhood, for heaven’s sake.

When the excitement died away, Dracula was adamant.

“No way, lady, am I going to do those ears. You think I want a lawsuit against me if the gun slips? Forget it!”

I can’t say I was sorry to forget it. The only redeeming factor was the suggestion that I should send a photo of my ears to the Guinness Book of World Records.

And next time I have a premonition, I’m going to listen to it.


Thursday, May 12, 2011

A Heart-stopping Experience

My cousin and his wife are coming to stay in a couple of weeks. Thought this might be something they would like to try - sightseeing to the extreme!

Some of the greatest views ever can be seen from the CN Tower!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers' Day Mish Mash

We have been out and about this weekend. Here is a pictorial record of some activities:

Coming home from lunch at Number 1 son's home yesterday, I captured these through the car window:

The curvy condo building on the right, in Mississauga, has been dubbed the Marilyn Monroe Tower in reference to her voluptuous figure.

 "While the first tower captures the feminine, the second tower (still under construction) is its counterpart, still romantic in its silhouette but more rugged and perhaps more robust."

Just in case you are interested in moving in, you can read more about these luxury condos here and even take a neat virtual tour of the penthouse suite. And if you go here your can discover all the features these condos contain - columns of them!

Also captured this through the car window:

Amazingly this great cloud formation didn't produce any rain - not over us, anyway.

Today DOTH and I had a Mothers' Day brunch at her sailing club downtown. It was a gorgeous day - finally!  And this view from the clubhouse captured ME!

Wherever one travels downtown the CN Tower makes a great focal point for photography...

I like the composition of this photo, with the tower between the two masts.

This tall ship sailed past the dining room while we were enjoying a lovely buffet:

And this is the clubhouse from a distance:

Number 1 son and grandson visited us later in the afternoon, and they worked off the dinner calories with a rousing game of badminton:

It was wonderful to be out in some WARM weather. The trees are turning green and the tulips are finally coming up.

As the sun began to set, DOTH turned on the sprinkler system and I couldn't resist taking this striking shot:

A fitting end to a lovely day.

Just one more shot, for snafu -- who talked on his blog about his Amaryllis refusing to bloom for a number of years, and then suddenly coming alive. We purchased an Anthurium a number of years ago. It was covered in beautiful blooms, but they gradually died away, and it remained dormant for four years. Then, suddenly, it began to bloom again. For the last three years it has produced a steady stream of blooms from May to November:

The only reason I can fathom for its splendour now, is its location. Three years ago I moved it from in front of the window, to a location with less light. It seems to thrive there, so I have steadfastly refused to move it, even if it doesn't fit the decor! It has just begun to bloom for this year - and I love it!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Songs of the Wild

DOTH and I were so excited, over the weekend, to hear a new bird song. I had NEVER heard it before and expected it to be an exotic bird new to the neighbourhood. After much research, and finally spying a new bird eating the grass seed DOTH had recently sprinkled on the lawn, we managed to put the song and the bird together to come up with THE WHITE-THROATED SPARROW.

Here is what our Birds of Ontario book has to say about him:

This patriot of Canada`s northern forests arrives each spring to sing its glorious familiar tribute: my sweet Canada Canada Canada. Its soothing sound of these few simple notes announce the arrival of spring, and can appear anywhere in the province in great abundance.

Where HAVE we been!  We have never heard him before, and we are aficionados of birds songs!  Never mind, he is here now, and he may not be exotic, but he is lovely, and his song IS so patriotic!